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Υπάρχουν πολλοί τρόποι για το πώς αντιμετωπίζουμε τους ανθρώπους που μας σχολιάζουν αρνητικά, κυρίως στο διαδίκτυο όπου το φαινόμενο είναι πλέον συχνό. Κάποιοι επιλέγουν να αγνοήσουν την αρνητική κριτική, ενώ άλλοι αντιδρούν.

Η 22χρονη Lexie Manion, μια ακτιβίστρια με έδρα το Νιου Τζέρσει, αποφάσισε να απαντήσει με κοπλιμέντα στους ανθρώπους που έγραψαν άσχημα σχόλια σε μια πρόσφατη φωτογραφία της.

Τα σχόλια και τα μηνύματα που έλαβε η Manion αφορούσαν το σώμα και το βάρος της, μετά από ανάρτηση μιας ολόσωμης φωτογραφίας της στο Instagram. Στην προσπάθειά της να καταρρίψει την κοινή αντίληψη ότι οι μεγαλόσωμες γυναίκες πρέπει να αισθάνονται πολύ άνετα με τον εαυτό τους ώστε να φορέσουν αποκαλυπτικά ρούχα, η νεαρή γυναίκα «ανέβασε» φωτογραφίες του εαυτού της με μια κοντή και άλλη μια διαφανή μπλούζα.

I used to shy away from the “you’re glorifying obesity” argument. Those words made me feel ashamed because they made me question what I was doing. “Am I sharing a message I’m proud of?” “Am I doing the right thing?” And ultimately, “Am I glorifying obesity?” I see now that I am glorifying obesity. And I say that with pride now rather than hiding my face out of shame. And if this offends you, I want you to consider this: I’m unhealthy, but what does that have to do with my worth as a human being? It might take some time to unlearn what you’ve been taught, or maybe your willfulness will make that impossible, but to me, one’s weight has absolutely nothing to do with their worth. I am a relatively good person, I don’t intentionally hurt others and if I do, I apologize, I spread love and kindness, I am working hard to be healthier mentally and physically, I’m a good friend, I’m compassionate, and I also happen to be fat. Why does my appearance matter so much to you – a stranger on the internet who doesn’t know me or care about my well-being beyond my social media profile – that all these good qualities about myself are demolished once you know what I look like? To me, if you’re a relatively good person, you have worth and you are worthy of good things. I also believe that me showing up and living freely despite what critics say is revolutionary. Standing out in a fat body in this day and age is brave. Because we live in a society that shames and dehumanizes those who are deemed “too fat”. We are constantly seen as unworthy and useless, so us taking back the power and realizing our own worth is everything. Challenging beauty standards and the systems that have been put in place that prevent fat people from living freely is a revolution. I hope one day it’s not; I hope one day we can all just let people be and focus on ourselves. But, today, it is. So here I am. I glorify obesity. I also glorify getting physically and mentally healthier as I have been working on my fitness, and doing hard work in therapy. And I am proud to be glorifying love, rather than hate.

A post shared by Lexie (@lexiemanion) on Oct 12, 2017 at 1:34pm PDT

Όταν κάποιοι σχολιαστές άφησαν υβριστικά σχόλια, η Manion πρώτα ρύθμισε τον λογαριασμό της σε ιδιωτικό, μπλοκάροντας τα τρολ και απαντώντας σε καθέναν ξεχωριστά. Αργότερα και παρόλο που ακόμα αισθανόταν αδύναμη και νευριασμένη, έκανε μια δοκιμή: έστειλε μηνύματα με κοπλιμέντα προς τον κάθε χρήστη.

«Παρόλο που είχα χαμηλές προσδοκίες, πίστευα ότι οι άνθρωποι θα καταλάβουν ότι κορόιδευαν έναν αληθινό και φιλεύσπλαχνο άνθρωπο και την επόμενη φορά που θα αφήσουν αρνητικό σχόλιο σε κάποιον, θα το σκεφτούν καλά», έγραψε η Manion.

«Έστειλα μήνυμα σε ένα κορίτσι που μου έγραψε ότι οι φωτογραφίες μου είναι αηδιαστικές. Το μήνυμά μου προς αυτήν ήταν ότι μου άρεσε ο τρόπος που έγραφε το όνομά της και εκείνη μετά με ευχαρίστησε, προσθέτοντας ότι και σε εκείνη αρέσει ο τρόπος που γράφω το δικό μου», δήλωσε η 22χρονη.

«Οι άνθρωποι πιστεύουν ότι μπορούν να πουν και να κάνουν ό,τι θέλουν, αλλά τίποτα στο διαδίκτυο δεν είναι ανώνυμο. Είναι πολύ εύκολο να πληκτρολογήσεις κάτι και να το στείλεις και πολύ μακρινό από το να πεις κάτι μπροστά στον άλλον».

As a woman, I feel so much pressure to look put together and well-dressed every single day. As a plus size woman, I feel that pressure even more so than when I was a straight size. I think part of that is because there are plus size women out there who have hid their bodies under baggy clothes for long periods of time – whether it be because we were ashamed to show our bodies or because we didn’t have access to clothes we like that fit. Another part of this reasoning is because people judge. I already have a strike against me for going out in public as a fat person; I’m looked down upon and shamed. And I get another strike if I’m not dressed well. This world cares so much about image, so sometimes we have to conform to the pressures. Because as a woman, if I’m not wearing makeup, I’m told I look ‘sick’ and ‘tired’, and maybe even ‘ugly’. As a woman, if I’m wearing a simple and comfy outfit, I’m not ‘trying hard enough’. As a plus size woman, if I’m wearing comfy clothes, I’m seen as ‘not trying hard enough’ too, but even more so because I’m fat. In many people’s eyes, fat equals lazy/unhealthy/gross. So it’s another strike of judgment when I’m not putting all my effort into that day’s look. And especially now that I have embraced my body as a fat person, people also expect me to ALWAYS be wearing risqué clothing. I’m here to tell you to eff the rules. If you want to wear something baggy (I do for comfort or on days I don’t want to stand out), you are no less confident or worthy. You don’t HAVE to always look like a 10. What matters is that you feel like a 10, or that you are working towards that number (because you deserve to feel good about yourself!). We may have days we don’t want to wear makeup, or form fitting clothing, or more risqué outfits. That doesn’t mean that we hate ourselves or that we were faking being confident all along. It just means whatever because it simply doesn’t matter. You don’t have to wear sheer clothing, less clothing or tight clothing (unless you want to!) to prove you are confident or body positive. Confidence isn’t just how we look; it can also be seen in how we speak, and in how we treat ourselves and others.

A post shared by Lexie (@lexiemanion) on Oct 6, 2017 at 5:50pm PDT

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Το κείμενο αυτό δημοσιεύτηκε στην Αμερικανική έκδοση της HuffPost και αποδόθηκε στα ελληνικά.